Cruel to Be Kind/Kind to Be Cruel

Hello and welcome to my March offering, “Cruel to Be Kind/Kind to Be Cruel.” Sorry for the delay. And sorry the bookmarks turned out to be so flipping cheap. They looked to be of much higher quality in the packaging…

So, the idea behind this mix was to choose songs that were just plain cruel or where it probably would have been better if somebody had been cruel so the other person could just move on already (thus, “Kind to be cruel”). A little note on the French songs, I’m providing a rough translation, but this artsy stuff doesn’t lend itself well to translation, especially in English, and especially by somebody like me. So all you francophones can just fermer vos boîtes à camembert !

So, I give you “Cruel to Be Kind/Kind to Be Cruel.” I hope you enjoy it!

1. Elle m’a dit (Cali)
If you don’t know Cali, you’re missing out. He’s the king of being kicked in the gut. I first listened to his debut album L’amour parfait while riding the train from London to Coventry. I still remember thinking, “Man, this guy’s been jerked around!” “Elle m’a dit” comes first, in spite of it being in a language that I think only three or four of us actually speak, because it is by far THE cruelest song in the mix (although “C’est toujours le matin” gives it a run for its money, I think). Here’s the translation for you:

Je crois que je ne t'aime plus I don't think I love you anymore
Elle m'a dit ça hier, She told me yesterday
ça a claqué dans l'air It clapped in the air
comme un coup de revolver Like a gunshot

Je crois que je ne t'aime plus I don't think I love you anymore
Elle a jeté ça hier, She threw out there last night
entre le fromage et le dessert between the cheese and the dessert
comme mon cadavre à la mer like my corpse into the sea

Je crois que je ne t'aime plus I don't think I love you anymore
Ta peau est du papier de verre Your skin is sandpaper
sous mes doigts ... sous mes doigts Under my fingers… Under my fingers
Je te regarde et je pleure I look at you and cry
juste pour rien ... comme ça for no reason… like that

Sans raison je pleure, For no reason I cry
à gros bouillons je pleure, In huge sobs I cry
comme devant un oignon je pleure, as if I were cutting an onion I cry
arretons là lalala lalalalalala let's stop here

Chorus
Elle m'a dit lalala lalalalalala She told me
Elle m'a dit She told me

Je crois que je ne t'aime plus I don't think I love you anymore
Relève toi, relève toi Get back up, get back up
Ne te mouche pas dans ma robe, Don't blow your nose in my skirt
pas cette fois ... relève toi not this time, get back up

Tu n'as plus d'odeur, I can't smell you anymore
tes lèvres sont le marbre Your lips are the marble
de la tombe de notre amour, of our love's tomb
elle m'a dit ça son sang était froid she told me, her blood was cold

Quand je fais l'amour avec toi When I make love to you
je pense à lui I think of him
Quand je fais l'amour avec lui When I make love to him
je ne pense plus à toi lalala lalalalalala I don't think of you anymore

Chorus

Je crois que je ne t'aime plus I don't think I love you anymore
Elle m'a dit ça hier, She told me yesterday
ça a pété dans l'air it ripped in the air
comme un vieux coup de tonnerre Like a thunderbolt

Je crois que je ne t'aime plus I don't think I love you anymore
Je te regarde et je ne vois rien I look at you and see nothing
Tes pas ne laissent plus de traces Your steps don't leave a trace
à coté des miens next to mine anymore

Je ne t'en veux pas, I don't blame you
je ne t'en veux plus, I don't blame you anymore
je n'ai juste plus d'incendie I just don't feel the fire
au fond du ventre c'est comme ça Deep down. It's like that.

Chorus

Alors j'ai éteint la télé So I turned off the TV
mais je n'ai pas trouvé le courage, But I haven't found the courage
par la fenêtre de me jeter : To throw myself out the window
Mourir d'amour n'est plus de mon âge I'm too old now to kill myself for love
lalala lalalalalala

2. When Did Your Heart Go Missing (Rooney)
April beat me to the punch! It’s still good, though. This one is, perhaps, a little looser on the theme for this mix, but it still seems cruel to me. I mean, “When did your heart go missing?” Ouch. And why would the object of his affection turn so cold? Maybe it would have been kinder for her to just dump him and have it over with rather than giving him the cold shoulder.

3. Re-offender (Travis)
“You say you love me, then you do it again.” Nuff said.

4. Criminal (Fiona Apple)
An oldie but a goody. And very fun to sing along to in the car. Go ahead—try it!

5. This Is the Last Time (Keane)
Not quite sure who’s being cruel in this one: all I know is Keane’s done taking the crap.

6. Suedehead (Morrissey)
“Why do you come here when you know it makes things hard for me?” I’ve loved this song from the first time I laid ears on it. I think we’ve all had that person it hurts us to be around, but we still keep coming back for more.

7. As You Are (Travis)
Ok, he’s asking for the cruelty in this one. “It’s ok to lead me on. I must admit it’s not much fun to be led on by such a one as you are.” Travis, like Cali, is somebody who’s been kicked in the crotch a time or two. And I love them for it.

8. A Million Ways (OK GO)
Hi. This is me being literal.

9. C’est toujours le matin (Cali)
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This is one of my all time favorite songs. I have seriously played it at least five times in a row before. This song is kind of in the same vein as “Suedehead.” He’s in this position where he’s in complete and utter pain, but he doesn’t do anything about it. I’m not quite sure if the object of his affection is aware that he knows that she’s being unfaithful, but I think she probably is and that she enjoys torturing him the way she does. Here’s the translation:

C'est toujours le matin toujours It's always in the morning, always

Tu me reviens le sourire invincible you come back to me, your smile invincible

C'est toujours le matin toujours It's always in the morning, always
Comme un coup de poing Like a punch in the face
Ton sourire est terrible Your smile is terrible
Moi je suis enroulé sur moi même I'm curled up on myself
J'ai mal au bide I'm sick to my stomach
Enroulé comme un tube de dentifrice vide Curled up like an empty tube of toothpaste

Oui je t'ai attendu toute la nuit Yes, I waited for you all night
Comme un chien stupide Like a stupid dog
Oui je t'ai attendu attendu Yes, I waited for you, waited.

Ne souris pas ne souris pas Don't smile, don't smile
Ne me dis pas cette fois Don't tell me this time
Qu'il t'a aimé comme trois That he loved you like three
Epargne moi épargne moi Spare me, spare me
Ne me tue pas cete fois Don't kill me this time
Ne me dis pas qu'il t'a fait tout ça Don't tell me that he did all that to you

Et mes yeux qui t'ont aimé toujours And my eyes, who have always loved you
Viennent encore demander Come again to ask
Quelques miettes de tendresse For a sliver of kindness

Mêmes si tes habits puent l'amour Even if your clothes stink of love
Même si ton corps est tapissé Even if your body is covered
De toutes ses caresses In his caresses

Je te suis jusqu'à la salle de bains I follow you to the bathroom
Tu ne me regardes pas You don't look at me
Ton coeur brule désormais entre ses mains Your heart is on fire in his hands
Le mien vole en éclats Mine flies into pieces

J'imagine ses gros doigts I imagine his big fingers
Qui défilent sur toi Marching up and down you
Comme un armée de soldats Like an army of soldiers
Qui tendrait le bras droit **I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea how to deal with this**

C'est toujours pas très loin It's never far away
qu'il étend le moteur That he turns off the motor
Qu'il étreint tes levres That he kisses your lips
et qu'il s'installe dans ton corps And settles into your heart

C'est toujours le matin It's always in the morning
toujours à la même heure Always at the same time
Je m'habille de ténèbres I'm clothed in shadow
Tu éclabousses de bonheur You jump for joy

PS Cali has a hot brooding voice and an über-sexy accent.

10. If You Leave (OMD)
Another oldie but goodie.

11. Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Panic! at the Disco)
If you’re dropping the F-bomb you know it’s serious. This is another one that I’ve listened to a couple of times in a row. I like to think of it as giving the bird via song.

12. Will Never Marry (Morrissey)
Along with Elle m’a dit, I think this song is the epitome of the Cruel to Be Kind/Kind to Be Cruel theme. “I’m writing this to say in a gentle way ‘Thank you, but no.’” No messing around. No games. Just, No. The recipient can now move on with his or her life. And isn’t that all we really want?

13. Nothing Better (The Postal Service)
Awww this one’s sad. The poor singer has these deluded notions about his relationship and his girl quite handily puts him in his place. It’s for the best, really…

14. Whodunnit (The Reindeer Section)
I’m not gonna lie, I want to have hot, sweaty monkey sex with this guy. I’ve never even seen what he looks like, but if I could have a physical relationship with a voice, it would be with this guy. Ohhhhh baby, his accent!!! It sends me into convulsions.

15. Girl Afraid (The Smiths)
Here’s an instance where somebody, ANYBODY, should be doing some talking. Both of them sitting there, wondering what the other one thinks. Somebody just say something, please, so you can move on!

16. Luv (Travis)
Sorry to go out on a low note. I was thinking this was the song with a hidden track on it, and I didn’t want you to be sitting there waiting for the next song. Favorite line: “In letting you go, it only goes to show me that I’m still in love with you.”

February, you're my little valentine!

So, ladies, I sent out the February mix Friday (priority mail, cuz I loves you). Because I probably won't get a chance to blog the tracklist until long after you get the CDs, I'll post it now. Hope you find some keepers on here!

"Love: the good, the bad, and the ugly" is the theme for this mix, which is comprised, as you've no doubt figured out, of love songs that encompass many forms of love, loosely broken into the three categories--good, bad, and ugly. The first three songs are in that specific order just as a general example of the categories, and the rest may be obvious or more difficult to pin down.

1. The Ritz ~Office

Gets the mix off to a rocking start, surrounding the chorus' "A kiss near the fountain at The Ritz--oh, yes, it was beautiful" with crazy lines like "Dancing drag queens, dentists teeth, homos, missing numbers, scrapes on my knees."

2. Civil Twilight ~The Weakerthans

I had this song on repeat for like a month straight. I love this story of a bus driver whose route constantly takes him past the house he used to share with his lover, and even more I love the tricks he uses to keep his mind preoccupied: "... or recite the names of provinces and Hollywood actors. Oh, Ontario, oh, Jennifer Jason Leigh."

3. 15 ~Rilo Kiley

I was originally going to use Breaking Up, but that wiley Heather beat me to it. Instead, I chose 15 to illustrate a very, very bad kind of love. The statutory kind.

4. Jesus, etc. ~Wilco

Ah, Jeff Tweedy. Allow me to drool at your feet. There's a lot of speculation about this song being a reference to one person trying to help another person through a drug addiction; others think it's a religious song or social commentary, but that's not what it means to me. I like to imagine a delicious Tweedy-like man trying to help a girl through her problems, trying to take her mind off the pain, all the while subtly revealing the depths of his feelings for her. But the song is open to interpretation.

5. I Don't Care What You Call Me ~David Ford

I had this song on my myspace page for quite a while. Gorgeous song about the end of a relationship and how he's been berated for so long that he doesn't even offer rebuttal. And possibly he's actually done something so awful that he can't offer an excuse. "And tear me on down. I am unforgivable. So why don't you just tell me what you really think of me?"

6. Superstar ~Sonic Youth

Delicious male version of the song everyone remembers Chris Farley and David Spade singing in Tommy Boy. "Don't you remember you told me you love me, baby? Said you'd be coming back this way again, baby." Sweetly delusional. You've been used, sweetheart.

7. Foundations ~Kate Nash

Seriously, who hasn't seen this couple? They're sick of each other, but for some reason they stay in a relationship and make everyone around them uncomfortable. They snipe at each other for some sick thrill. They should let go, but they can't. "Yes, it was childish, and you got aggressive. And I must admit that I was a bit scared, but it gives me thrills to wind you up."

8. The Good Life ~Kanye West

I know what you're thinking, Kanye doesn't do love songs. Oh, but you're so wrong. He's totally in love with himself, and almost every song is an homage to himself. I'd bet money that you'll all be singing "And now my grandmama ain't the only girl calling me baby!" in no time.

9. Die Alone ~Ingrid Michaelson

I know she's the new "it" girl right now and you've probably all bought her album already, but I really liked this song. It's a good follow-up to Kanye's self-absorbed song. She sings, "I never thought I could love anyone but myself, now I know I can't love anyone but you."

10. Scar That Never Heals ~Jeremy Fisher

Laura, don't let Ben use this for your wedding song. Though it does reference guns and it's an upbeat tempo, I've put this song in the ugly category.

11. Railroad ~The Zutons

Oh, so pretty. The man is laboring in a foreign country because it's the only place he can find work, but he carries her picture with him and writes her lots of letters. "I've saved every penny, my girl. I hope that you have waited out there."

12. Unmistakably Love ~Stephanie's Id

Pretty little love song. Also, she's from Asheville, N.C. Ever hear of it? :)

13. Diamond Heart ~Marissa Nadler

Though this song is hauntingly beautiful, I'd have to also put it in the ugly category. "I had a man in every town, and I thought of you each time I tore off my gown." If you dig her sound, you may also want to check out her song The Lonesome Death of Sylvia.

14. Romeo & Juliet ~Dire Straits

I may have put this on a couple of other mixes, so sorry if you're sick of it. I just really like this song with its classic theme of wrong timing.

15. Take Me to the Riot ~Stars

Never has ugly sounded so beautiful. "Saturday nights in neon lights, Sunday in the cell. Pills enough to make me feel ill, cash enough to make me well."

16. It's Not You, It's Me ~Coconut Records

Aka, the delicious Jason Schwartzman. Oh, baby. Make out with me now! Er...sorry.

Anyway, some say this song is about his ex Zooey Deschanel's struggle with anorexia. "Drinks only gin, says it's how to keep thin, and she's crying after every meal. No, you don't know how you're making me feel."

17. When Did Your Heart Go Missing? ~Rooney

What better way to follow up Jason Schwartzman than with his younger brother, the lead singer of Rooney? "I'm retracin' every step in my head. What did I miss back then? I was so, so misled." (I know the feeling well. People are bastards.)

18. I Love You, You Imbecile ~Pelle Carlberg

Winding down the mix, I have to end with some songs in the "good" category. "All I want is you. I can live with all the stupid things you do." I do tons of stupid things! Why isn't someone loving me, damn it? ;)

Also, check out the song Clever Girls Like Clever Boys.

19. Another Kind of Green ~John Mayer Trio

Oh, come on. Like you didn't know I'd put my lover on here.

Relationships are tough, especially when one starts worrying that maybe there's someone even better out there for them. "I know I might be anxious, but I'm still not crazy. And I don't need another kind of green to know I'm on the right side with you."

january, bitches!

so i sent out your cds last week - you should be receiving them today or tomorrow.  i also sent playlists with them because that's how i roll.  so this post is really just to ruin the surprise for those who have not yet received the cd and to justify my mix which is not nearly as cool as justifying my love (the latter apparently involves wearing a lot of leather and being madonna)...but i digress.

onto the mix.  since it's a new year, i decided to look at my life over the past year (2007) and make a mix all about that since 2007 was a pretty big year for me.  i've had the idea of an "evolution of a year" mix for a while so when contacted for january, i was thrilled.

also, this mix marks the first time i've attempted to make a semi-happy mix.  i specialize in depressing, broken-hearted or angsty songs so this is a big step to make a mix that ends happy.  however, because this is me and because 2007 started out with a break up and the usual doom and gloom i have come to revel in, there is some typical redlaw whiny-ness in the mix - thank heavens, right?   er....whatever....

1. rilo kiley - breakin' up

so maybe it's just me, but when i do break up, i tend to have a brief moment of elation at the idea of being free.  hence, this song leads the mix because it captures oh-so-perfectly how good it feels to be free from a bad thing.

2. neko case - star witness

but right after that moment, i tend to view a break up as a funeral because i do not subscribe to the "let's be friends" school.  after someone effs with my heart like that, they're dead to me.  so here's a great song about death that got some heavy play in the rotation in early 2007 as i was licking my wounds post-breakup from Assface McDouchealot III, as i affectionately refer to him. 

3. sarah mclachlan - dear god

there are 2 things that make a great mix to me - one of them is sarah mclachlan - we'll discuss the other thing later.  you know, maybe it's just me but when i go through rough times, i tend to either blame god or just doubt he exists (and i know that's lame to do but whatever - i do it, i feel bad about it later, but i know i'm not alone in doing it).  this song does both and the emotion in sarah's voice - it breaks my heart to hear it - i love this song and have waited a long time to use it in a mix. 

4. soggy bottom boys - man of constant sorrow

well, this is about as fun and twangy as a sad song can get - for those that love "o brother, where art thou," you're welcome!  and i know it's not really george clooney singing but whatever - a girl can dream....

5. ryan adams - to be young

one of my favorite raunchy movies opens with this song and again, this is a happy-sounding sad song - may favorite!  i like when something is not what it appears to be...

6. belle & sebastian - white collar boy

i'm taking a class on white collar crime right now so i had to throw this song in....especially since one of the best cases i worked on this summer was a white collar case.  this is perhaps the best example of a happy song about really depressing things.  and it makes me want to jump around and dance.

7. dropkick murphys - shipping up to boston

is there a better combo than celtic music and punk?  it's like the new pb&j.  i really dig this band and this song actually brings back really strong memories of this summer to me...watching baseball games and missing Mr. Red Sox - nothing like good bittersweet memories...

8. jeff buckley - hallelujah

wow.  this song can bring me to tears if my hormones are aligned right with the moon and all that crap.  the first time i heard it, i got big goosebumps.  it's haunting and i know everyone already has it but whatever, humor me.

9. the lemonheads - into your arms

an oldie but a goodie.  this song marks the point in the mix where things start really looking up - the first mix that Mr. Red Sox gave me had this song on it...can't go wrong with the lemonheads...

10. zero 7 - pageant of the bizarre

i feel like any guy i end up with is going to have to pay heed to these lyrics - "it's never gonna be normal, you and me"  i love the french feel of this song - the accordions make me feel like i'm in paris again.

11.  john butler trio - betterman

this is a longer song by my standards but i really like it - love the build up in it - another song i filched from that first mix Mr. Sox made me....

12. dave matthews - waste

this is a cover of a phish song - back in high school and into college, i was a huge phish, DMB fan and in making this mix, i went for a little nostalgia - i think good mixes bring old and new together...

13. thomas dolby - she blinded me with science

speaking of old and new - here's my second requirement for a good mix - classic 80s hits.  i LOVE this song - it cracks me up.  there are people i see in the hallways here and all i have to do is shout out "Science!" to get a laugh.

14. the eels - fresh feeling

when relationships are new, they're so fun.  it's as time goes on that you have to make things fun again...to those looking to recapture the new feeling, may i suggest making your husband or boyfriend go away for a summer?  this song was playing on my ipod when i met up with Mr. Sox in london and it will forever capture that feeling of how great it was to see him again after a few months without him.  

15. when in rome - the promise

remember that last scene in napoleon dynamite?  enough said.....

16. ween - stay forever

this is our song, Mr. Sox and me.  i couldn't think of a better way to end a mix on a happy note.  sorry if you're gagging over that.  if it makes you feel better, my life is otherwise miserable and repressed....

so there you go.  hope you like it.  if not, well, at least there were treats to go with it, right?

december

I just mailed out your CDs today, so . . .

Ladies, I'll be honest: I'm really nervous about how you'll feel about December's mix. Nervous because it's been a long time since I've made a mix tape. How long? Well, I just called it a Mix Tape. Nervous because a Christmas-songs CD in December is so predictable. Nervous because I think the idea is to exchange and experience new music, but you've likely heard all of these songs before. Still, I hope you'll see why I chose what I did. And if you don't understand, or like it, well, you'll just have to wait until my next turn to see what I've got to offer.

Let's begin with the underlying theme: is this CD all about being Canadian? You'd think so. Let me be clear: I adore the Barenaked Ladies, and have for a very long time. Also to be made clear: they're better (with the exception of maybe - MAYBE - three songs) when they're being silly than when they're trying to be serious. And, they've recorded quite a lot of holiday songs. You'll hear them often on this mix, and even more than once in a row. Faux pas? Sorry. It's my first time here on the Lib.

Also, I feel the need to confess: I have this weird posessive feeling about certain songs, bands, whathaveyou, and this immature feeling applies to a few songs here. I admit to feeling a slight rage when I hear some of these songs played on the radio or at the mall. "Hey! You can't play that! That's MY song! I had it first! Stop whoring it out at your leisure!" You dig?

And I do love Christmas music. Well . . . I love some Christmas music. I've come to believe, over the past few years, that everyone should have a collection, however large or small, of Christmas music (and Christmas movies! Buy Stalking Santa today!) that they enjoy. This happens to be a compilation of my favorites, which is nice to have put together so I don't have to keep changing CDs to only listen to the one (or two, or whatever) track(s) that I enjoy. Also, as a gift to you, there will be no "O Holy Night." Because everyone thinks they can sing that song. But they can't.

On with the mix . . .

track #1: Carol of the Bells, Barenaked Ladies. I am skeptical of pianists as valid contributors to bands, but I do so like the way that Kevin Hearn plays. Did you know that of all 5 guys in the band, he was the youngest when he lost his virginity? I wish I didn't know that, and I wish it didn't come to mind everytime I hear him play.

track #2: Happy XMas (War Is Over), Sarah McLachlan. I came thisclose to using Sense Field's version of this song, but at the last minute chose Sarah's because, well, it's just more beautiful. This song, in general, has never been a personal favorite, but this year it's heart-warming to me. Yes, I know people in Iraq, just like you do. I'm not making a political statement, but thinking about my friends and family missing their loved ones who are currently on the other side of the planet, hurts.

track #3: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings, BNL & Sarah McLachlan. Hey, just because you have heard a song before doesn't mean it's not good. Yes, even if it's played on some radio stations every twenty minutes. I like this because it was an impromptu recording, backstage somewhere, and there is no drum -- Tyler's drumming on a suitcase or something.

track #4: Sleigh Ride, BNL. Go on and sing along. You know the words. Okay, enough. We'll break from them now.

track #5: Bizarre Christmas Incident, Ben Folds. Oh, Ben. You're so edgy.

track #6: Christmas Song, Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds. Yes, I'm from THAT era. Big DMB fan. I know that this song shows up on most holiday compilations nowadays, but this is filed away in my made-up "ownership" category, and I can't help that I still dig it. This version, from the Live at Luther College CD, is my favorite.

track #7: River, Indigo Girls. I debated over which artist to include for this song and ultimately went for Indigo Girls because it's their version I knew first. I can't explain why I love this song so much...maybe because it addresses some very real hopelessness and sadness at a time of year when most people are pretending it doesn't exist.

track #8: Christmas Day, Dido. Awwww . . .

track #9: Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth, Paul Jacobsen & Amy Gileadi. This song is on a new CD that was produced by my friend Scott Wiley. The CD is called Mary's Lullaby: Christmas Songs for Bedtime and it's billed as a children's lullaby CD. Amy and Scott were in a band called Sunfall Festival, and though that project is not currently working together, certain of its members occassionally do. Something about the way that the words, "Mary nodded," come across really touches me. Maybe it's the fact that there's no blaring snare drum incessantly getting in the way of listening to the song.

track #10: [upside-down question mark]Donde Esta Santa Claus?, Guster. This is one of the songs that my kids love to listen to year-round. Can you blame them? Who wouldn't want to hear some nice Jewish boys singing about Santa Claus? Speaking of Jewish . . .

track #11: I Have a Little Dreidel, BNL. Because you only know some of the words. Now you can know them all.

track #12: Deck The Stills, BNL. Seriously, how could I not?

track #13: Silent Night, Lisa Hannigan. For the grrrrl in all of us.

track #14: It Came Upon A Midnight Clear, Sixpence None The Richer.

track #15: Polly Anderson's Christmas Party, Stewart McLean. Okay, WARNING! This is not a song. This track is a story, and it's about twenty-three minutes long. My feelings are not hurt if you don't enjoy it, but I think it's rather funny, and even relaxing.

track #16: Wonderful Christmastime, BNL. This song isn't so much about the Napoleon Dynamite-esque blurb of music as much as it's about what directly follows.

So, listen, and don't get stuck.

Li+

My time will be limited the next few days, so I'm going to go ahead and write my mixplanation. If you haven't received your CD yet, I bid you to refrain from reading the rest of this post until it's in your hands.

Normally I would have considered all of the recipients of the mix, and try to create something that everyone would at least partly enjoy. But for this mix, I just did whatever the heck I wanted to; let your ears be victim to my choices.

The accompanying story you also received is a rough draft of something I wrote the morning of its deadline for my fiction class. There's plenty of room for improvement (i.e. word echoes, character development, editing, etc., etc.) however I didn't want to delay sending the mix out any longer than I had, and yet I still wanted to include the little story, since it seemed to correlate. So I didn't bother revising it before giving it to you.

1. Tokyo Moon -Windmill

If Present Rachel told Past Rachel she was putting this song on a mix -and to be the first song no less -Past Rachel would have thought Present Rachel was crazy. Windmill's vocals seem to be that of "acquired taste," and may cause some to want to listen to someone scratching a chalkboard instead. But Present Rachel just couldn't resist. It's as catchy as a good poop joke, and well, she's 99% sure that he sings her name in the beginning of the chorus. And if there's one thing Past, Present, and Future Rachels can all agree on, it's how they simply cannot resist a good song that has their name in it. (By the way, if his lyrics ever make it out on the internets somewheres, and it turns out he's not singing my name, don't ruin my dream, k? I'd rather keep living the lie.)

2. Take Your Medicine -Cloud Cult

The awesomeness of this song explains itself. Nuff said. Especially in the car. Great in the car.

3. That Summer At Home I Had Become the Invisible Boy -The Twilight Sad

Another band with long song titles that aren't actually sung in the song? At least I don't think it's there. But I encourage you to focus on his accent, not on the actual lyrics...you might not like what you find.

4. I'll Kill Her -Soko

Um, yeah.

5. Kids -MGMT

Most definitely in my top five favorite songs of the year. There's this part around 3:17 where the hot synthesizer action transports me into an '80s teen movie, where the Molly Ringwald character has just scored the boy of her dreams, and the world is suddenly perfect. Judd Nelson jumps up in the air with a fist pump. Yeah. Like that.

p.s. I also recommend listening to this one when you're alone late in the night, and you just have to stand up and start doing an interpretive dance. With robotic jazz hands.

6. I Hear Music -Blossom Dearie

I'll never tire of this Blossom. I just had to throw her in.

7. Bunny Ain't No Kind of Rider -Of Montreal

The first song that really got me hooked on their new album. Which I can't give enough praise.

8. I've Underestimated My Charm (Again) -Black Kids

I knew you're not doing too well
all the blogs are about you girl

9. Up On Your Leopard, Upon the End of Your Feral Days -Sunset Rubdown

Perhaps another odd choice. But I beg you to google up the lyrics. This one sounds better in headphones, I feel.

10. Jigsaw Falling Into Place -Radiohead

This piece just seemed to fit. Ooph!

11. Icicle (Live) -Tori Amos

Okay, here's where I have to defend myself. Yes, I can make a compilation without Tori. But I don't know if I really want to, you see. This version especially needs some explanation. The recording is horrible, and if you're not careful, the screaming crowd will hurt your eardrums and your speakerdrums. But hear me out. If you don't like Tori, you'll still have to enjoy the conundrum that happens in the beginning, you just have to! It's hilarious. And if you do like Tori....It's impossible for me to not get chills when I listen to everyone singing along -I don't think in all of Tori history has she ever asked the audience to sing along with her, especially when it's just her and her piano. It's unheard of, but she knew she'd be able to overshadow what happened in the beginning of song by having everyone join in -she's just smart like that. I love it...and her voice is impeccable in this recording. Even with the bad tape. Sometimes I forget how powerful this song is for me -this version helps me remember.

12. Wham City -Dan Deacon

Another rule broken. Put a song that's over eleven minutes long on a mix? Are you crazy? YES, YES I AM. And you'll be needing these, I assure you:

There is a mountain of snow, up past the big glen
We have a castle enclosed, there is a fountain
Out of the fountain flows gold, into a huge hand
That hand is held by a bear who had a sick band

Of ghosts and cats
And pigs and bats
With brooms and bats
And wigs and rats
And play big dogs like queens and kings
And everyone plays drums and sings

About big sharks
Sharp swords
Beast bees
Bead lords
Sweet cakes
Maste lakes

O ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma


You're welcome.

13. Lithium -The Polyphonic Spree

Hear this cover of Nirvana's Lithium in your head when you read the end of my little story. And after the last words written, hear the yeah yeah yeahs screaming inside your brain along with the blank page.

14. Revelations -Yoko Ono & Cat Power

Tender warm and fuzzy.

15. Starálfur -Sigur Rós

Slightly different from the original recording. I don't think there could have been a better ending. You may find a supposed English translation of the lyrics here.

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Okay. So yeah. I said I was going to mail everything out last Friday. Kind of a lie. I wasn't feeling so hot, but I won't keep reminding everyone of how sick I've been. Violins?

But now I think I'm on the right medication, so yay! Does this mean I'll have now curbed my post office procrastination ways forever? Time will only tell, my friends. Time will only tell.

So just to ease your troubled soul about whether or not I really mailed them out this time, here is a picture of the line I waited in at the post office:

Now I'm a bit worried because after packing everything up, I realized I had an extra CD left...and I can't remember whether or not I had made an extra copy...but just to clarify, you should be receiving a CD, a little treat, and a little booklet thingamawobber.

And Ms. Llew, your belated birthday teensy surprise should also be in your package. So in case I made a switcheroo and someone else receives Laura's birthday surprise, please mail it to her.

Yes. So now. They are really in the mail. Sorry I took so long.

Oh and, since from here on out it'll be a surprise who's doing the next month and so on and so forth -if you happen to be like me and you desire to let everyone know that you might be running a week or two or three late, inform the person who picked you for that month to post up a little somethin' somethin' to let everyone know that they haven't been forgotten. You don't have to do this, but I just know I crave opportunities to give excuses as to why I haven't done something yet...yeah. Just keep that in mind so we can continue to be surprised by who sends the next mix.

Wheeeeeeeeee!


Oh and, in case you haven't received a mix from me before...there are some swears on this mix...so don't say I didn't warn you when you suddenly find yourself caught in a tight spot with your kids in the family minivan.

All Apologies

Dearest Members,

The lib resurrect shall burn brightly, I assure you. I meant to mail out November this past Monday, but I had to wait until I got paid (which happened not until today) and then there's this little problem where I can't really convince myself to do much of anything. (Some people call it laziness -you sons of bitches, you know who you are -I call it mental cancer.)

But never fear today is the day I shall conquer the post office. So next weekish, keep your eyes peeled for a plain golden mailer sent to you from Yours Truly.

Yours Truly,

me

p.s. I read this book where this girl gets her face blown off and I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it.